Juozas, Vice President Schuldschein Syndicate

How was your parental leave? How is everything going at work since then?

My parental leave, which lasted three months, was very rewarding, but at the same time intensive. After I returned to work it took some adjustment. I had to read many emails, and I had to prioritize things in order to catch up and settle back in. My team was very supportive and looped me in on the most important changes and developments at the bank, but also in the product market.

In what way were you able to apply your professional skills to parenting?

I cannot quite compare it, since when coordinating workstreams at work you can plan better and, to put it simply, use logic, which is not always the case when dealing with toddlers. Very often during my parental leave, even if a day may have looked free, there were often numerous tasks that popped up. On such days, I definitely used some of those skills from work where you need to juggle multiple tasks simultaneously and manage your time scrupulously.

What skills did you acquire as a parent, which could contribute to your professional growth?

As mentioned previously, you cannot always reason with a small child, since they are still learning about the world around them. There’s nothing wrong with that, but these endless discussions when you need to leave somewhere in a timely fashion or when you have to dissuade them from wearing a winter jacket in June can drain your patience, energy and good mood. Doing this daily forces you to think more outside of the box (remember, logic is not always welcome) and gives you a new and creative perspective in approaching problems. You inevitably also develop more resilience to certain stressors and gain endurance, so you can deal with challenges in a more relaxed manner than before.

In what ways did ING as a company support you before, during and after your parental leave?

The senior management and my team were very supportive and understanding – whether it was taking more than the usual two months of parental leave or my children being sick, or when I needed to step away from the desk for a doctor’s visit. They rely on me to get the job done but give me the flexibility to do it at a later stage or on-the-go with a laptop.

ING’s hybrid workplace is invaluable for me and other young parents, whenever a situation arises (for example wife on a business trip, kindergarten unexpectedly closing early, doctor’s visit - you name it). Although I always aim to be in the office three days per week, that flexibility to adjust plans and to be able work on-the-go or outside of office is absolutely essential.

Extremely helpful for us was ING’s partnership with pme Familienservice which secured us a spot at a kindergarten in Europaviertel. Also, a huge plus is the emergency daycare that ING offers in collaboration with pme Familienservice. And although I didn’t get to use this one, ING’s new policy to provide a paid special leave of four weeks for the birth of a child will surely be appreciated by future fathers at the bank.

All in all, I can say that ING, as an employer, is very accommodating when it comes to young parents and provides benefits which are rare to find in other companies.

Do you think there is (still) certain stigma around fathers on parental leave? What is your experience?

Off-the-record and on-the-record, I don’t see any stigma at ING for taking these months off.

What has changed for you since your first parental leave? What were the differences between those two?

I thought I was up-to-speed and ready for the second parental leave, having done it once. But I have to say, two toddlers is a whole new level. On the first parental leave, I was actually still able to do something regularly on the side (read, go jogging, meet people) whereas with two kids, there was none of that. What also made the second parental leave different is that I came into it being a different person. Leading up to my second parental leave, my son Linas had two major health emergencies, so this changed a lot of things for me. Luckily, he has recovered in the meantime. A big thank you goes out to the DCM team for their huge support and understanding during these tough times for my family!  

What are some difficulties you faced during your parental leave and how did you overcome them?

The first month of parental leave was great, together with my wife who was still on parental leave. We did several weeks of traveling to Lithuania to visit my family and went to Bavaria. After that, from one week to another, I suddenly had to take on all responsibilities for the household and both kids when my wife returned to work.

While it is a time off from work, I would not really call it a vacation. It is a highly rewarding time filled with many special moments and with a meaningful purpose, however for the most part it is not a time of slow mornings where you chill on the couch, watch TV, and scroll your social media feeds. Every day inevitably gets structured very quickly around the schedule and the habits of the toddler and it definitely takes some adjusting. You learn to enjoy it and, in the end, appreciate every minute of it, but initially it was challenging, and it took a couple of weeks to develop systems and workflows to manage everything alone.

What is your favorite moment from the time off with your children?

There were many good moments, but my favorite was spending the sunny afternoons outside at a park or a playground after picking up the kids from the kindergarten.

There is a saying “it takes a village to raise a child”. Who was your village, or your biggest support?

The grandparents from Germany and to some extent the grandma from Lithuania. We also managed to find a fantastic babysitter while on my parental leave and having her around helps immensely, especially now that we’re both back to work.

What could motivate more dads to decide to take time off to care for their newborn?

I often heard that one phrase (especially from older men), “I should have spent more time with my kids and family”. Hearing it so often for many years on end, I told myself that whenever possible I’ll try to minimize this potential regret. Parental leave is a great opportunity for that.

If you are completely disconnected from work and your head is solely focused on your children, it offers you a great opportunity to get to know your children significantly better and to strengthen your relationship with them. You get to know what they like, dislike, their character, routines and interests.

It also should improve the relationship with your partner. When you both experience the same things (ups and downs), you learn more about how your partner feels and what they’re going through, so your relationship solidifies and grows.

Oh, and much exercise. You easily get 10.000 steps a day.

Is there any change in the professional world, you would wish to have for your children, which hasn’t yet happened for you?

There are always improvements possible, however I do feel that what we, as young parents, currently have in the society and in the corporate world is already so much better than just 10-15 years ago.